Diesel (BBW Paranormal Shapeshifter Romance) (The Grizzly Brothers Book 1) Read online

  “You don’t seem tired anymore.”

  “Yeah, having a mild heart attack really wakes a person up.”

  “I’m sorry you had to see that, and I’m sorry that we didn’t control ourselves until we made it to the bed, but thanks for coming home early for me.”

  “That’s okay, if I’d had the chance to fuck one of the Grizzly brothers, I would’ve taken it too, even if it was outside in broad daylight,” Reagan said, looking off into space as if she could see it happening.

  “Yeah, those three are something else, huh?” Sadie asked, thinking of the dangerously handsome trio.

  “You don’t know the half of it,” her sister replied strangely.

  “What do you mean by that?” she asked.

  Reagan looked at her for a moment, then shook her head and took a sip of wine.

  “That’s for Diesel to tell you, if and when he’s ready,” Reagan said. “And Sadie, I know you said he was a stallion in the sack, but if he told you it was his first time, give him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know much about Diesel, since he’s the brother who sticks the most to himself, but I do know that he’s the kind of man you can trust to protect you. I don’t think he was lying.”

  “It just seems so farfetched,” Sadie admitted, “For a man like him to have never found a woman he wanted before. He said that he was looking for his mate, like soul mate or something, and he’d know when he found her… He thinks I’m his soul mate.”

  “I get you having reservations, really, I do. The guys up here can be real intense, and it took me a while to get used to it, but if you like him, like I think you do, then talk to him. I know you, Sadie, and I know you wouldn’t have had sex with someone you didn’t feel some kind of connection to.”

  “But I’m only here for a couple weeks, so is it really smart to start something with a super hot, intense guy who thinks I’m his soul mate, when I know it’s only short term?”

  “Does it have to be?” Reagan asked, causing Sadie’s eyes to flash to her. “All I’m saying is talk to him and keep an open mind. Do you really have to be in Chicago? There’s no one holding you there. You can be an accountant anywhere, and, I’m here. I would love it if you fell for Diesel and moved here permanently.”

  “Move here?” Sadie asked as if it were a foreign concept. “But my life is in Chicago… I mean, maybe, if things get serious, Diesel would move there to be with me.”

  “Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” Reagan said, indicating once again that there was something going on that Sadie did not yet know about. “How about you sleep on it, then talk to him in the morning, okay?”

  “Yeah, that sounds good,” Sadie said, rising from the couch.

  “Great, I’m beat,” Reagan said, then looked at her sister slyly and added, “And I know you’re tired, after the pounding you took tonight.”

  Sadie groaned and punched her sister in the arm, before leaning in to give her a hug.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Sadie, and I’m glad you’re here.”

  Ten

  Diesel

  By the time Diesel finished his run and shifted back into his human form, he strode up to his cabin to see Hunter and Blaze sitting on his porch drinking his beer.

  “Make yourselves at home,” he grumbled as he ambled up the stairs.

  “How about you go grab a beer,” Hunter said.

  “And some pants,” Blaze added.

  “Then join us out here,” Hunter patted the arm of the empty chair next to him. “And you can tell us all about it.”

  Diesel wanted nothing more than to go inside, slam the door, and leave his brothers out in the cold, but he knew if he tried, they’d just break in and pester him. It was best to humor them by having a beer and telling them what they wanted to know, then they’d leave him the hell alone.

  He threw on some sweatpants, opted not to put on a shirt, then grabbed a beer and went out to eat the shit his brothers were sure to hand him.

  The chill hit his skin, but it didn’t make Diesel feel uncomfortable, it reminded him that he was alive.

  “All right,” he began as he sat in his Adirondack chair. “Have at it.”

  “I thought you were just going to give her a kiss goodnight,” Blaze said with a grin as he tipped back his beer. “You can imagine my surprise when we walked in to see you two going at it…”

  “You were about to claim her, weren’t you?” Hunter asked.

  “Yeah, it… we… shit just got out of control,” Diesel admitted. “I only planned on a kiss, but one taste of Sadie and my bear took over.”

  “You can’t claim her without even telling her what it means, or what you are, for that matter,” Blaze chastised.

  “Yeah, brother, not cool,” Hunter added.

  “I know,” Diesel replied. He ran his hand over his chin and said, “I’m out of my element here, guys. I never imagined my mate would be a human, or that the feelings I’d have for her would be so intense, right off the bat.”

  “Well, we can’t help you there, since neither of us have found our mate yet, but… You’re form looked good, considering it was your first time.”

  Diesel flicked Blaze off when he started laughing, which only made his brother laugh harder.

  “Do you have any questions, or need any pointers?” Hunter asked, getting in on the fun.

  “I didn’t have any complaints,” he replied smugly, the memory of Sadie’s face when she came causing him to shift in his seat. “My bear knew exactly what to do.”

  “Well, that’s good then,” Hunter said, then leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Look, brother, I know Sadie’s your mate, and you’re eager to claim her, but you’ve got to tell her the truth about us. Reagan knows it’s not her place to reveal what we are to anyone, not even her sister, but she was pretty pissed tonight. I’d hate for her to say something in the heat of the moment, before you’ve had the chance to explain.”

  “I’m not trying to hide it, it just hasn’t come up,” Diesel explained. “I don’t want to scare her.”

  He’d never had a discussion about what he was with anyone but another shifter. Diesel knew that most of the humans who lived in the area were perfectly aware that they lived among shifters; there were even some women who got off on it. Hence the popularity of his brothers. But he’d always been more comfortable around his own kind, until now.

  He didn’t know how to broach the subject, or how Sadie might take the news. He just hoped the connection they had was enough for her to trust him, and that no matter what, they were meant to be together.

  “I know, D, but don’t put it off too long, that’s all we’re saying.”

  Diesel smiled at Blaze and tipped his beer before taking a long drink.

  “All right,” Hunter said as he stood. “I think we’ve bonded enough. Time to push off, brother.”

  “See you tomorrow?” Blaze asked Diesel as he rose.

  “I guess,” Diesel grumbled, wondering why his brothers were all of a sudden all in his business, when they usually left him alone.

  Hunter chuckled and said, “Try not to sound too thrilled.”

  Diesel lifted his hand as he watched them go down his porch and get into Hunter’s truck. He stayed where he was until he finished his beer, then he picked up the bottles his brothers had left behind and went inside.

  He wished he’d thought to get her phone number; the urge to check on her was strong. He could just run over there, and it wouldn’t take long at all, but Sadie had asked him to give her some time to think, and he needed to respect her wishes.

  Diesel paced his house, thinking the place that usually settled him and brought him comfort wasn’t helping at all.

  He knew the one thing that would surely bring him peace, so Diesel shed the sweatpants that he’d put on and walked out his back door, careful not to shift until he’d made it outside. His bear wasn’t dangerous or terribly destructive, but he was a bear, and sometimes he inadvertentl
y broke stuff in his house.

  That was why Diesel tried to shift outside whenever possible.

  Content and ready to run, the bear took off into the forest and ran through the cold, dark night.

  Eleven

  Sadie

  Sadie moved through her sister’s house, smiling to herself as she carried her coffee in her hands.

  She was sore.

  Not can’t move or sit down sore, but I’ve been ravished sore.

  She liked it.

  Flashes of her and Diesel together had been plaguing her all night and all morning, and although she’d gotten very little sleep, she didn’t mind. She’d taken the time to think, and had decided to believe Diesel. To take what he’d said at face value and trust that he hadn’t been playing her.

  Sadie just hoped she wasn’t making a mistake. She’d hate to find out that his big game was to tell women that he was a virgin and he’d been waiting for the one to show him how to love… That would really suck. Because, although they’d known each other for such a short amount a time, she really, really liked him.

  Like could see herself falling for him, liked him.

  “Jeez, could you stop walking around here smiling like a woman who was hanging from the rafters last night?” Reagan complained, causing Sadie to jump. “Some of us went to sleep with only the warmth of blankets to keep us toasty last night.”

  “Huh?” Sadie asked, holding a hand to her chest to calm her rapidly beating heart. “You scared me.”

  “That’s cause you’re walking around here in a lovesick fog,” Reagan said from her place at the stool by the kitchen counter. “I know you’re just waking up, but you might like to know that loverboy has been waiting outside for the last two hours.”

  “What?” Sadie asked as she rushed to the front door.

  “Yeah,” Reagan said, pointing her spoon. “He told me not to wake you.”

  “You weren’t mean to him, were you?” Sadie asked as she did her best to smooth down her hair.

  “Mean? Me?” Reagan asked with mock offense. “I was sweet as can be. I even took him a cup of coffee.”

  “Why didn’t he come inside?”

  Sadie watched Reagan shrug and roll her eyes before opening the door and surveying the front yard. Sure enough, Diesel was there, leaning against his truck with one of Reagan’s coffee mugs in his hand.

  “Hey,” Sadie called, trying to hold back a shiver as she stepped out into the cold morning.

  At her call, Diesel looked up and pushed off of his truck. With a few long strides, he stood in front of her.

  “You should get inside before you catch a chill,” he said, causing Sadie to smile.

  He was so thoughtful… so sweet.

  “You seem fine,” she argued.

  “I’m used to the weather,” Diesel explained. “Got thicker blood.”

  “Do you want to come inside?” she offered, gesturing lamely back toward the house.

  Well, this is awkward, she thought.

  “Actually I was hoping we could go somewhere and talk… in private,” Diesel said, shoving his free hand in his pocket and clutching the mug with his other, like a life line.

  “Yeah, sure,” Sadie replied. “Just let me go and get changed.”

  When Diesel nodded, but didn’t make a move to come inside, she left him and rushed to get dressed.

  “We’re going to go somewhere to talk,” she told Reagan as she flew through the room, buttoning her cardigan.

  Reagan swiveled on her stool and said, “Just keep an open mind, okay?”

  Rather than say something about yet another cryptic comment from her sister, Sadie nodded her assent and blew Reagan a kiss.

  “Later,” she called, then opened the door and hurried out to where Diesel was still waiting. “Ready.”

  Before Sadie could walk around him to the passenger side of the truck, Diesel’s hand came out to stop her. She looked up to see what he wanted, and the look on his face had her lips parting and her tongue darting out to wet them.

  Diesel’s gaze followed her tongue, then he grinned wickedly before he lowered his head and brushed his lips softly against hers. When he pulled away, he ran his thumb gently over the fullness of her bottom lip, then said, “Let’s go.”

  Warmth filled Sadie at his sweetness and she practically floated to the truck, where he was waiting to open her door and help her in.

  She couldn’t stop the smile from playing on her lips as they drove in silence. Sadie watched as Diesel pulled off the road and followed signs to a National Park, where he parked the truck, but left it running, and then turned to look at her.

  “Did you get the space you needed last night?” he asked, and Sadie nodded.

  “Yes, thank you. I’m sorry if I overreacted, but having our family walk in on us definitely freaked me out. That, and how good we were together, especially after you said you were a virgin,” she said softly, her eyes on his face so she could gauge his reaction.

  “I was telling you the truth, I promise,” Diesel said, his hand reaching out to take hers.

  “I believe you,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze. “And I want to be completely honest with you… I’m only here for a little over a week and a half, and I’m not sure what you want from… this,” Sadie used her other hand to gesture between them. “But I really like you, and I’d like to see where things go between us. I don’t mean to be forward, but if we get serious, and one of us had to make the decision of whether or not to move… would you be willing to come to Chicago?”

  Sadie waited, her breath a lump in her throat as she watched him.

  It wasn’t that she was unwilling to consider moving herself, but she wanted to know that Diesel was also willing to make that sacrifice if it came to that. She wanted to know that he was as invested as she was.

  “I could come to Chicago to visit, for a short period, but I cannot move there permanently,” Diesel answered, and her hope deflated.

  “Your family?” Sadie asked, guessing that they would be a reason for him to refuse to leave.

  “In part,” Diesel replied, his eyes leaving her face to look out the window. He took a deep breath and swung his attention back to her. “But mostly because I need to be in Alaska. This is my home, and I need wide open spaces, the forest, the land… I could never live in a city like Chicago.”

  “Okay,” Sadie whispered, but when she tried to tug her hand back, his grip remained firm.

  “It’s not what you’re thinking,” Diesel explained, his voice gruff. “It’s not just a matter of preference, I need to be here. This is where I was born, where I hunt, and where I can roam free without fear or danger.”

  “I don’t understand. You’re a hunter?” she asked, wondering what that had to do with anything. People still hunted outside of Chicago.

  “No, not a hunter. A bear.”

  Sadie blinked slowly, sure that she’d misunderstood.

  “A bear?”

  “Yes,” Diesel said, his breath coming out in a rush. “The locals don’t call us the Grizzly brothers because it’s our last name. We don’t have a last name. We are grizzly bears. We aren’t the only shifters in this area, but we are the only grizzlies.”

  “Really?” Sadie asked, her tone conveying her anger. “If you just want a fling while I’m here, all you have to do is say so. I’m a big girl, I can take it… You don’t have to make up some crazy story about being a grizzly bear.”

  “It’s not a story, Sadie, I wouldn’t lie to you,” Diesel said, but this time, he let her hand go when she tugged it away. “I can prove it.”

  “Just take me back to Reagan’s,” she said, turning in her seat so that she was faced forward, back rigid as she stared out the window. “Please.”

  With a huff, Diesel did as she asked.

  Twelve

  Diesel

  He watched as Sadie hopped out of the truck and ran, not giving him time to open her door and help her down. Diesel wasn’t sure what he’d said wrong, or how
he could have explained things better, but that had not gone as he’d planned.

  He hadn’t expected her to be so dismissive, or to think he was lying in order to not have a relationship with her. Didn’t she realize that she was his mate for life, that there would be no one else for him, ever?

  Whether she stayed in Alaska or moved back to Chicago permanently, Sadie would always be the love of his life.

  His thoughts darkened as he drove home. He didn’t know what his next step was going to be, or how he could get Sadie to believe him without scaring her so badly that she ran away and never looked back.

  Diesel needed to shift.

  He needed some space.

  He needed the land.

  He’d figure out what to do about Sadie later, but now, he needed to be in his true form.

  Not even bothering to go inside, or worry about the clothes on his back, Diesel threw his keys on the seat of his truck and shut the door. Then he did the only thing that would keep him from focusing on how much he was hurting, and shifted.

  Then, he ran.

  Thirteen

  Sadie

  “Come on, Sadie, just tell me what happened,” Reagan urged.

  It had been four days since Diesel had dropped her off and driven away. Reagan had been doing her best to keep Sadie busy and show her a good time on her trip. They were currently kayaking down the river, and although Sadie had done her best to enjoy being with her sister, she obviously hadn’t distracted her from the fact that she still hadn’t told Reagan how Diesel had blown her off.

  “Why can’t you just accept that he wasn’t who I thought he was, and let it go?” Sadie asked, trying to let the peaceful flow of the water keep her calm. It was cold as could be out here, but it sure was beautiful.