Rowan: A Military Shifter Secret Baby Romance (Alpha Squad Book 2) Read online

  But I knew better.

  The little moment we shared was a fantasy because the last five eyes had indeed happened and they had taken their toll on me.

  With the feel of his lips on mine, all the logic I held onto so dearly fell on the wayside and my body took over.

  My lips parted under his and my core flooded its self in preparation to receive his.

  It knew the pleasure he could provide and it needed to feel it again. Right this instant.

  It had been too long, too many nights with a sick kid, or studying for the MCATs. I craved the intimate contact and my back arched, thrusting me into his hold.

  His tongue took advantage of my surrender and pushed passed my lips to touch mine. I moaned and allowed my tongue to dance with his. We kissed like had never stopped kissing, the hot familiarity making us move into an easy rhythm.

  My hands clutched at him and his swept over me, shaping, molding and squeezing my curves. He was making deep, pleased sounds in the back of his throat and any consciousness I would have felt in the way my body had changed over the years became irrelevant. In his hold, I was the most beautiful creature on earth.

  My fingers tangled in the short strands of his hair, luxuriating in the soft feel of them until I was forced to let go because he was jerking my shirt up and over my head.

  The connection of our lips was broken for no more than two seconds before they were locked up again. Expert fingers broke the clasp of my bra then it was sliding down my hands and falling to the floor.

  We were moving so fast, Rowan guiding the way. The feel of a wall at my back stopped the movement. Rowan pressed against my front, his hardness trapping me there.

  Through his pants, his cock was hot and insistent against my stomach. Pushing up with my toes, I tilted my hips and pushed back against him.

  I pulled at his shirt, needing the feel of his naked skin on mine but he captured my hands and shackled them above my head. He pulled his mouth free and trailed kisses down my jawline, neck and chest before capturing the tip of one breast between his lips.

  I cried out, the sound loud in the otherwise still room.

  I pulled at the human restraint and he let me go to cup my free breast, rolling my nipple between his fingers.

  It felt so good. So necessary. Like a relief I didn’t know I needed.

  My fingers reached under his shirt and pushed it up. He let go of me to pull it over his own head. He tossed the fabric away carelessly.

  He suddenly spun me around. My front was pressed up against the hard wall and his body molded to my back.

  His hands gathered the fabric of my skirt and pulled it up so that it bunched around my waist.

  A sharp tug of his hand and my panties were gone.

  “I can’t fucking wait,” he growled against my ear.

  “Ohhh,” I cried at the delicious violence of the move. At the utter need in his voice.

  This man needing me was the ultimate aphrodisiac. I was a goner.

  Cool air rushed over the heated flesh between my legs. I squirmed, so very aware of how empty I felt inside. Of the need to be filled by him.

  He cupped my smooth mound and growled again.

  “You’re so fucking wet for me. Just for me. Tell me you are,” he demanded.

  I couldn’t deny his masterful domination. Not when it catered to the need of the part of me that needed to submit to his special brand of hot, unbridled sex.

  “Just for you,” I said.

  His stroked my clit with his thumb as his middle finger breached my entrance.

  “Fuck, I need to be inside you. It has been too long. Let me have you, Willa,” he breathed hotly against my neck.

  His teeth were nipping at my skin and his tongue soothed away the pleasurable pain. He paid particular attention to the small bird tattoo on my shoulder, a habit he had from all the years we spent as a couple.

  “Yes,” I moaned my agreement, arching into his hold. Despite knowing I should not be doing this, my body was craving his with an intensity that was stronger that I had ever known.

  I had never known such need, not even when we were together in the past. It was scary in its strength but it was also like tempting a moth to a flame. I needed to be consumed by it even knowing I would get burnt.

  The sound of a zipper being undone was startling then the crackle of plastic. Then his hot member was hugged by the lips of the most delicate part of me.

  Rowan had a beautiful cock. It had been years since I saw it but I still remembered how long, thick and ribbed it was. In this position, I couldn’t see it but I could feel that it was just as intimidatingly wonderful as my mind held onto. He was poised at my entrance and we both froze, savoring the anticipation. He turned my head and took my lips from his position behind me. Then there was no more waiting.

  He pushed forward, spearing my flesh inch by hot inch. He conquered my clenching center like he did my eager mouth.

  I cried out as he slipped inside, the small urging thrusts of his hips convincing my resisting flesh to take him. Finally though, there was nowhere left for him to go. My core burned with the effort of taking him but even that pain was pleasurable.

  We fit together like we were made for each other.

  He started to move and I moaned and cried out in his mouth, the sounds muffled. I swallowed his sounds of passion too. The pace quickly built, my movements urging him on. I needed this to be hard and fast. The demands of my body could handle nothing less.

  We began to pant with the hot pleasure and he released my lips. The sounds of our bliss filled the room and so did the wet, fast sound of rough sex.

  I arched my back and yelled as he slipped impossibly deeper. My breasts bounced with the hard rhythm and sweat made our skin slick.

  I might had been embarrassed at how fast I came the first time if it didn’t feel so good.

  Rowan stroked between my legs with his fingers while his other hand pulled at my nipple. Surrounded by him, feeling the things he did to my body... It was too much too soon and a wave swelled inside me, overwhelming me in how quickly it built.

  I gushed my gratification onto his jabbing hardness, my vocalization loud and echoing.

  He gripped my hips harder and drilled into me, pushing me higher and higher still.

  “Fuck, babe, it never felt this good before… Come for me again. You have no idea how hot it is to feel you in my arms.”

  I erupted in another tide of pure sensation. Colors burst in front of my vision and my ears roared as I obeyed his carnal command.

  He pushed into me faster, deeper and rougher and with a shout, joined me in paradise.

  Through the synthetic barrier he protected us with, I felt the heat of his release and just the knowledge of him coming set of fireworks in my belly again. I shuddered and gasped.

  I had no idea how long had passed when I felt myself coming back down to earth. No longer riding my high, the gravity of what I just did hit me.

  My heart was still racing but the rhythm changed into a more panicked feeling. My body tensed, all the sweet sensations morphing to horror.

  The smell of sex was heavy and wetness coated the inside of my thighs, both testaments to my lapse in judgment.

  Rowan was still hard inside me and my body was still responding to his readiness despite the walls my brain and heart were erecting.

  Rowan felt the change in me though, I knew.

  He turned me in his arms and looked down at me, his eyes searching before he tilted his lips toward mine.

  I dodged them and they grazed my cheek.

  He let his lips linger there for a moment before lifting his head. He cupped my chin and made me look back at him.

  “What’s wrong? Regrets already?” he asked.

  I couldn’t look at him when I said, “I can’t do this again. This was a mistake. We should never had allowed his to happen.”

  “Why? We were great together,” he stated.

  We were. My body was still shaking with how great and that
was exactly the problem.

  “I cannot get emotionally involved with anyone right now, Rowan. And I definitely can’t be someone’s mate.”

  Especially you.

  I left that part unsaid but it hang in the air nonetheless.

  His answer left me shocked.

  “Then let’s leave the emotions out of it.”

  He said it like it was the most logical thing in the world and the only response I could muster was, “What?”

  “We both have a lot going on right now with school and everything. A relationship will only complicate things so let’s keep it strictly physical. We’re great together. And med school is going to be stressful as hell, we both need this release. Even though we just fucked, I want you again. And I know you want me too. Let’s be friend with benefits. My bear can handle it.”

  I definitely should not agree to that crude proposal.

  That is what my head said.

  My mouth seemed to be in agreement with my body though because, after a few heart beats, I said, “Okay.”

  We would have sealed the deal with a kiss but my cell phone started to blare form its position in my bag.

  Time to get back to reality.

  Nine

  Rowan

  After tossing and turning for many, long hours, I finally fell into a restless, troubled sleep. I wanted sleep to be easy but instead my bear wouldn’t let it go. Whatever the hell it was.

  Even though I was out of the military I still slept like I was. I was trained to sleep lightly, to be able to wake up at a moment’s notice. I don’t know when the last time was I fell so deeply into sleep that I forgot my surroundings.

  Sleep like that was luxury and not something to indulge in enemy territory when the squad could be attacked at any time. Being back in civilian territory hadn’t been enough to change my sleep pattern I developed over the last few years.

  Tonight, in my dream, I was seated around a table with a group of five other guys. We were all dressed in camouflage gear with patches proclaiming Alpha Squad.

  We had just come back from a successful mission and were having a drink at a local bar in a small town in the Iraq to celebrate. The town was known to be friendly to American soldiers and we had thought ourselves safe enough.

  We had been ribbing a newcomer to the group Luke Temple, a young lion shifter, just before all hell had broken loose. In typical fashion, Luke just been initiated into the group with a bunch of pranks, the latest of them left him running around the base as a lion, prowling for a chicken we let loose for him to chase.

  He took it well though, guffawing with the rest of the men as jokes were made about the sight of his bare ass fumbling around the camp in search of his clothes, which we of course had hid while he was attempting to catch his prey.

  I kind of felt bad for the barely twenty-year-old guy. My own initiation into the group had been no less embarrassing. However, it was funny remembering the horrified look on his face when our base camp leader had spotted his mad dash.

  A fresh round of laughter sounded at the table just before the world exploded.

  The sound deafened me as my body was flown with the force of the blast. When my hearing came back, lots of noise intruded, hurting my ear drums.

  My vision was blurred and a dull ache started to pulse on the back of my head.

  I was disoriented and confused and for a moment I lost all my senses

  “Medic,” someone yelled and I recognized the voice of my squad leader. “Medic, we need you over here!”

  The voice grounded me and my focus became clear. My training kicked in and I got to my feet.

  My job was providing medical support to the others.

  It was my role in the group but most importantly, it was who I was.

  I rushed over, steeling my muscles when my legs threatened to buckle under me.

  People were screaming and some - those who could – were running away from the scene. I saw people change into their animal forms to move quicker. Words I couldn’t understand were being shouted with panic and fear in the pitch and tone. Smoke and debris were making it hard to breath and faces were darkened with the mess the blast had created.

  Later, we would learn that the explosion was the work of a suicide bomber with something to prove to a radical group hiding out in the area. Fuckers. But all I knew then was providing my team, and others who were injured in the incident, with the medical help they needed.

  There were broken bones and limbs and blood, due to the bombers crazy beliefs. I saw a few sightless eyes and unmoving chests but I ignored them as I moved to where my squad leader was hunched over Luke. The other men were helping the injured people in the bar.

  Luke was bleeding. Red was all over him, coming from his nose and mouth. He was just a fucking kid.

  A large slab of wood was protruding from his chest and threatening his life. His body kept changing, unsure of how best to protect itself. He had a hand and a paw at one time, I’d never seen anything like it.

  I got to work, pushing my emotions to the side and focusing on the task at hand as my leader radioed in for more medical support and reported the explosion to the relevant authorities.

  Luke suddenly grabbed onto my hand with surprising strength. My surprised gaze jumped up to his.

  “Please save me,” he begged, coughing up more blood and fluids.

  For a second his face changed, and it was my father’s. His lips repeating the same words.

  That wasn’t the first time this had occurred while I worked on an injured person. I had gotten better as pushing my personal issues to the side, and just as quickly as my father’s face had been superimposed on Luke, it was gone.

  I looked him in the eyes and said, “I’m going to do my best, buddy. Just hold on for me. You’re going to get through this”

  Luke’s eyes had closed then and his life was left in my hands.

  Presently, mine opened and I was awake, transitioning into consciousness in less than a second.

  I laid still in my bed, my body quiet and my senses scanning my surroundings automatically. I heard the distance hum of traffic and a light drizzling of rain sounded outside.

  My heart beat was slow and heavy and a fine sheen of sweat had broken out over my skin.

  My mind was still reliving the event of that night almost a year ago.

  Luke had lived, although his injuries had changed his life forever and left him no longer able to serve his country. They told me it was because of my efforts he had survived.

  Every time I was told I was instrumental in saving someone’s life I felt a rush of pride but it was also accompanied by an insidious wash of guilt.

  There was no going back with my dad. I would never be able to save him no matter how many others I helped.

  Panic suddenly tightened my chest, making it hard to breathe. Even though I knew there was no one else in the apartment with me, I could hear voices calling out to me to save their life. Others blamed me for failing them. My father’s voice was the loudest of all.

  I recognized the onset of the PTSD attack and quickly got out of bed, trying to block out the voices. I went into the bathroom, grabbed the prescription pills out of the medicine cabinet and filled a glass with water from the sink.

  My hands were shaking and it took a few tries before I was able to open the small tube of white pills.

  I threw the pills into my mouth and chased them back with the entire glass of water.

  I just stood there for long minutes after, trying to calm my mind and center myself in the here and now.

  My diagnosis of PTSD was part of the reason I got out of the military. Shifters with PTSD were dangerous at best. The other was wanting to pursue a career as a doctor.

  Eventually the voices quieted, and I was able to think clearly again.

  I looked at the simple digital watch on my right wrist. It was after four AM and I knew there was no hope of me getting any more sleep before the sun rose.

  Besides, being inside my s
mall apartment, I felt claustrophobic after the panic attack. I needed to get out.

  I stripped down and walked outside, checking for anyone who might see my naked self. In the dark I changed and took off, my paws hitting the ground with speed I hadn’t experienced in weeks.

  I ran for several miles before my mind cleared and I was just able to enjoy the crisp early morning air.

  I returned to my apartment just after six AM and immediately headed for the shower to wash off the sweat from my skin.

  The heated water beat down on my head and shoulders. Hands braced against the tiled wall and head down, I was able to think about something other than death and war and of course, my thoughts turned to Willa.

  Instantly, my dick became hard and my heart beat quickened for an entirely different reason. My eyes closed and I imagined her face as she orgasmed on top of me. The image filled every corner of my mind, chasing away the shadows it held moments ago. I had wanted to spend the rest of the night bringing that look of bliss to her face. Our time together had ended far too soon.

  After our friends with benefits agreement less than twelve hours ago, she had answered her cell phone instead of continuing our interlude. After a whispered conversation that had me all kinds of jealous, she hightailed it out of my apartment without an explanation.

  I hadn’t asked if she was seeing anyone. Was that her reason for resisting the obvious connection between us? She made me fucking crazy. I just wanted her for myself. My bear growled in agreement.

  Eyes still closed, I wrapped my mind in the passion we shared earlier. I remembered the hot silken feeling of being inside her snug body. I remembered the way she responded to my every touch and word. She had been so open and generous with her wants. With her body. In her eyes, I thought I saw my every desire, physical and otherwise, reflected there.

  I could come from just remembering those few stolen moments we had.

  I didn’t remember grabbing hold of my dick but I hissed from the contact of my hand on the pulsing flesh.

  My soapy hand gripped my swollen length tight and stroked hard. My hips jerked to the movements of my hand. My release rushed towards the surface.