Undercover Bear Portland: Logan (BBW Paranormal Bear Shifter Romance) Read online

  “I think your mom will be happy to see you. She's the only one who asked about you really.” That felt like he stabbed me through the heart. My mother and I had always been close but I also had a good relationship with my father. Knowing that she missed me was a positive but it didn't overshadow the huge negative that was my father didn't even mention my name anymore. How would he react to my return?

  “You know I'm only doing this to protect my baby. I think they’ll see it that way too.”

  “So do I. If I didn't, I wouldn’t have come to get you. I don't want to watch you suffer Maggie. That's never what this is been about.”

  “I know. It just hurts is all.”

  Zane parked the truck on the gravel lot that was just off the highway. There were only a few other cars here, some of the clan members needed them to get to jobs off of the camp. There were only a few that were trusted enough to leave on a daily basis like Zane was. For the most part mingling with humans was forbidden.

  Zane hopped out of the truck and walked to the side opening the door for me, for a moment I felt like it was just like old times. When my feet hit the gravel and I saw my belly swollen before me I realized nothing about the situation was like old times. Zane grabbed my bag but walked three feet ahead of me at all times never looking back to check to see if I was okay, we didn't speak for the two-mile walk up to the camp. I stopped to rest a couple times gripping onto the trees and holding the bottom of my stomach. Zane didn't even notice, he just kept walking. Our friendship had become nothing more than something strangers would do. Maybe even less. Suddenly we weren’t the betrothed that everyone wanted us to be.

  “Hey Zane?”

  He turned around to look at me for the first time since would exited the truck. “Yeah?”

  I chewed on my lower lip for a moment. “Did you ever get married? I mean after I left?”

  He shook his head. “Nah. But I'm okay with that. No offense but I never really wanted to.”

  “Yeah me neither. Not to you anyway.” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could even stop them. Zane raised an eyebrow at me.

  “What's his name?”

  “What?”

  “I said, what is this guy's name? Maggie you and I both know how this works. You’re fated to another shifter from the moment that you’re born. You met him didn't you? Down in the human world. You found your mate.”

  I held onto my stomach for a moment and sat down on a log near where we were standing. It took me a moment to lower myself but Zane didn't reach forward to help. It was okay, I could do it on my own. At least that’s what I had been telling myself.

  “His name is Logan. And he is exactly what I’m running from.”

  “Why? Why come back here and deal with all of this if he's out there waiting for you?”

  “Because it's not just him that’s waiting for me.”

  “Is this about the child? Maggie, you know the clan will not be happy about that. Fated laws are absolute. No one messes with mates.”

  “No. It's not his.”

  “So that's why you’re running? He didn’t want to raise somebody else is cub?”

  “It's not like that. We’re not like that. I don't even think he knows how I feel Zane. Or maybe if he does he doesn't feel the same way, I'm not sure.”

  “Did you ask him? I mean did you even give the guy a chance?”

  “I thought I did. Maybe… Ugh fuck these hormones. Maybe I didn’t! Zane! What if I made a terrible mistake in coming back?”

  Zane raised his nose up into the air. “Well it's a mistake you’re going have to live with, they’re coming. I took one of the lesser-known trails hoping that wouldn’t tip them off. I thought you would want to talk to your parents first, before the guard.”

  “The guard? What does the guard want with me?”

  “You’re a threat. You were at that hospital for so long and nobody really knows what they did to you there. The elders want to question you.”

  “Question me? Are you serious? You were just going to let me walk right in there and not say anything? I thought we were friends Zane!”

  “We are. We were Maggie. These are the rules.”

  I heard the snap of a twig behind me and turned my ears in that direction. I could hear them breathing. There were three or maybe four of them, I started slowly turning in their direction. “Hello boys. Long time no see.”

  The four men who stood in front of me parted and a giant stood between them and started walking towards me. “It has been a long time Maggie.”

  “Father.”

  “You look surprised to see me. Not as surprised as I am to see you.” He looked pointedly at Zane. “You and I will discuss this later. Maggie, come with us. There’s so much to catch up on.”

  I had never seen such a dark glare coming out of my father's eyes. He always loved me, treated me like a princess, but now he acted as if he hardly knew me. I was a stranger to the clan and worse now I was a threat.

  10

  LOGAN

  “Lydia, what do you mean she didn't come home last night?” I asked yelling into my phone in the middle the precinct. I didn't care that every uniform in the place had his eyes on me. I had to know where she went.

  “I'm so sorry Logan. She said she was going out with the friends from her childbirth class. I didn't even notice she took a bag until this morning when I went to see if she wanted some breakfast. Did something happen between the two of you? She seemed fine here.”

  I ran my hands through my hair. Of course something happened between us. Something was always going on between Maggie and I, I should've been more careful. Telling a hormonal pregnant woman that a doctor that I was friendly with wanted to do tests on her baby had freaked her out enough to run. Where did she go? Who else cared about her. No one as much as I did. Had she been making friends that I wasn’t aware of? We practically spent all of our free time together.

  I should've told her. I should've told her that once the baby was born I wanted her and her child to move in with me. I wanted to play the role of parent to her child. I was ready to be a father. But I hadn't told her. I kept all those feelings myself and pushed her away. I played it too safe.

  I would've done anything for her. That was one thing I hadn’t done. And that could have ended it all for us.

  I thought I was pushing her away for her own good, trying to protect her. Letting her stand on her own and grow as an individual, when the truth was we were better as a pair. We could challenge each other and help each other grow and mature, even as parents. I was so God damned stupid!

  “I don't know. I mean yes, but no. It’s too much to get into right now. Did she mention any new friends lately? Anywhere she would go?”

  Lydia sighed on the other end of the line. “Not that I know of. I'm sorry Logan, I know how you feel about her. Even if you hadn't told her yourself.”

  “Yeah, thanks.” I hung up the call and suddenly the precinct sprung back into action. Everyone who had been listening in found something to do all the sudden. Marco and Shane were staring at the floor tiles like they were about to move on their own or something.

  “I know you heard all that. And I meant all of it,” Their bears could hear what other people couldn't. They both knew what Lydia had called me about.

  “I'm sorry man. Women are the worst.” Shane said as he put a hand on my shoulder.

  “Your woman is my sister, so watch what you're saying.” Marco chimed in.

  “Where was she going? She's due in just three weeks.”

  “Yeah and you had months to tell her how you feel and you didn't. Dumb move bro.”

  “Yeah I know. I just can't imagine where she would've gone. Maybe I can track her phone.” Both the guys looked away for a moment and then back at me. I knew what they were thinking. I sounded like some crazy ex-boyfriend. I’d sent enough of those assholes to jail know that I was one step away from stalker mentality.

  “I mean not that I would do that. No way. You know what? If she w
ants to run, let her. I won’t hold her back.”

  I was lying to myself. And I knew it, so did my bear. He roared in disagreement.

  The minute I said it I felt the loss stinging in my chest unlike any feeling I'd ever had before. I had to get out of there before the guys saw the truth. “I'm going to take the rest of the day off. I promise I'm not going to look for her, I just need to blow off, some steam. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

  Shane and Marco waved as I walked towards the exit of the precinct. I hadn’t lied to them. It killed me to let her go, but I wouldn't chase her. Maybe I had been wrong, maybe Maggie wasn't the one for me after all.

  11

  MAGGIE

  “So tell me about the hospital that you were in. And the half human that you've been hanging around with?”

  I raised an eyebrow at my father. “I'm sure Zane has filled you in on the hospital situation. I mean he was the one who left me there. And the people who did save me, were Portland PD.” I tried to avoid saying Logan’s name. It hurt too much. “They saved me and a bunch of other shifters. Father you have to know that I tried to come back. Zane told me about how you told everyone I was dead. Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you come save me?”

  “Save you? You left the camp. You had no right to do that. Those who walk out of here make a choice.”

  “Walked out of here? You act like it was my choice! Zane had me strapped to a gurney and sent there. This was not my choice. What would you have had me do? Die? Because by the time I got there but that's what they felt was going to happen! Don't you care about me at all?”

  He wrapped one of his massive hands around both of his temples. I looked up underneath his full beard to try to get a better glimpse of his eyes but with his hand in the way he was protected from my gaze. I couldn't give those innocent daughter eyes that I had when I was a child, they had gotten me out of messes in the past. This was different. I knew that.

  “Maggie, you went out to a human bar. Did you think I didn't know? It was all the time! You made me look like a phony as the leader of this clan. You act like rules don’t apply to you. And now you're back and you're pregnant? Do you even know who the father is?”

  I chewed on my lower lip and decided that if I really wanted to stand up to him I would have to tell him the truth. It was time to own my nightmare. “No. Because this baby wasn't made in the typical way. I got pregnant when I was in the hospital. No one knows anything about this child except for the doctors who put it there, and none of them were talking. Logan has a connection with this woman named Dr. Evans. She and the District Attorney want to test my cub. That's the only reason I came back.”

  I watched as he dropped his hand and his wide eyes took in my parents. “You mean to tell me this is a baby of science?”

  I knew what that meant. The clan didn't believe in scientific alterations of any kind. That was one of our foundational truths. There was a chance that I just walked into a situation far more dangerous than going back to United Hospital. My father might kill me for this.

  “Yes. But that doesn't make this cub any less of a baby.”

  “But it does.” He shook his head. “Do you know what type of situation you have created here? Do you not think at all?”

  The truth was, I hadn’t thought about any of this. If I had, I would still be back at Lydia and Shane’s snuggling on the couch with Logan. I always acted then thought later. It was the way I was.

  “No,” I admitted, ashamed. I was about to become a parent, and yet sometimes I still acted like a teenager.

  He sighed. “You are definitely my daughter. No one else finds out about this. Do you understand me? The elders will never let this cub join the clan if they know the truth. You will stay here, and you will have this cub. We will raise this child like one of our own and you will never leave this camp again. If you do, you might as well be dead. Because I will tell everyone what your cub truly is. Do I make myself clear?”

  I nodded. He turned and walked away from me, I watched as his flannel shirt disappeared into the darkness before I heard the cabin door slam. I sat on the cot that they had prepared for me and I held my belly between my hands as I started to cry. What had I done?

  12

  MAGGIE

  I waited in the cabin for days. Finally, on the third day, my father came to see me again. “You have a visitor.” He said as he stepped aside and I saw my mother's flaming red hair as she rushed towards me with arms open.

  “Maggie! You're here!”

  I wondered for a moment if she had known how long I had been here. By the look on my father's face I knew it wasn't a question I could ask aloud.

  “Yes mama. I'm here. I'm okay!”

  “But you are having a baby! How did this happen?” She looked down and took my belly in her hands. “I'm not old enough to have a grandchild.”

  “Yeah, you are mama.”

  “So who's the father?” She asked as she sat down next to me. I looked up at my own father and he turned his back on me walking through the door and shutting it softly behind him. At least he had enough respect to let me handle this on my own. Maybe he wouldn't keep me prisoner in here forever.

  “Just a guy. You know me, I was a little wild and crazy.”

  “Well you always were the free-spirited one. So tell me about him.”

  What was I going to tell her? I searched my mind for the perfect man, someone she would be proud of. And of course I settled on every feature of Logan. I went through each detail of his chiseled face, the way he held my hand, how every time he laughed when he was with me it lit up his eyes. She looked at me with a softness in her eyes that told me that she understood, I loved him. He had saved me when no one else would even give me a chance, but I just didn't respect him or appreciate him enough. Every moment that I had spent holed up in this cabin I realized that I was absolutely in love with him. Me coming back to the clan was the worst decision I could've made. I turned my back on my mate.

  After I finished my detailed description of Logan my mother clasped her hands together. “So you found him! Your mate.” She had a dreamy look in her eyes. I wondered what she would think of her own mate if she knew the truth. My father and her had such a beautiful relationship, but him keeping me prisoner here could tear them apart. Just another problem I caused.

  I nodded as small tears started to trail down my face. “Yes, I have. But he doesn't know it.”

  Her brows came together, “You didn't tell him? About the baby? Or about how you feel?”

  “How I feel. I made a mistake. I have to get back to him! If I don't…”

  “Your heart will be broken forever. I understand. You came back to be with your family, why didn't he join you?”

  I chewed on my lower lip for a moment. “I didn't tell him I was coming here. I wasn't sure how he would react. He knows how the clan feels about humans and modern medicine, two things he believes strongly in.”

  “So he lives among them? And because of the clan’s beliefs you didn't think he would accept us? Or that we wouldn't accept him?”

  “A bit of both I guess.” I rested my hands at the top of my belly feeling my cub kick underneath my skin.

  “Do you want to feel him? He's awfully active.”

  She smiled in an honest way and I put her hands on the top of my stomach so she could feel her grandchild for the first time. “He's strong. Probably like his father.”

  “Something like that.”

  “Maggie,” she said as she took her hand from my stomach to my chin and lifted it up so that our eyes met. “You have to tell him how you feel. And if he is what is best for you, we will understand. I will not shun my only daughter.”

  I wrapped my arms around my mother squeezing her tightly to me and whispered in her ear, “I have to get out of here. Father doesn't understand. You have to help me. There is something different about my baby. He has to be born in the hospital. I should never have come here and put this burden on you. I'm so sorry.”

  She
squeezed me a little bit tighter and pulled away. “I think you should talk to the father of your child. I think he deserves to know how you feel, so he can lead you through this journey. It’s his right.”

  She took my hands in her own and squeezed them tightly and I knew that she understood. A single tear slipped from her own eye as she had the realization that she would probably never meet her grandchild. Unless the clan changed their ways and ideals I couldn't raise my baby here. I couldn’t trust my own father, or the other clan leaders. If my secret ever got out, they might kill me and my child. Logan was the only one who could protect us.

  With him, I was safe.

  I'd been so stupid and emotional to jump to the conclusion that he and his colleagues testing my baby was such a bad thing. He just wanted to protect me from whatever could potentially happen. I ripped that chance away from him. This was entirely my fault. My father opened the door and my mother got up slowly nodding to me and blowing me a kiss as she walked away. She put her hand on my father's mountainous shoulder and squeezed it as she gave me one last look and walked out of the cabin.

  My father kept the door open and I watched as a man walked in his head bent down so that his chin was nearly touching his chest. He didn't make eye contact with my father or myself.

  “You have two minutes.” My father said in a gruff voice before shutting the door behind him.

  Zane didn't speak at first, he had his hands held together right below his waistline, almost as if keeping them there would mean that he could stay safe. Like he was trapping his emotions within his body.

  “Zane? Is there a reason you're here?”

  He sighed heavily. “Some of the elders know about the baby Maggie. You have to leave.”